Djcnor’s Weblog

Like a Bee on Cocaine

Posted on: December 26, 2008

Determined to find something positive to talk about today, or as a last resort perhaps something resembling comic relief, I have come upon the following headline: “High Fliers: Bees on Cocaines ‘Act Like Humans'”

I used to know a writer who had no background at all in science who used the titles of articles in the pretigious journals Science and Nature as inspiration. Oh, the story he could write from this one.

If the headline is correct, then logic leads me to the conlusion that humans act like bees on cocaine. Let us examine the article, then, and learn more about humans, shall we?

On cocaine, bees “[throw] themselves into unusually energetic dance routines.” Ah yes, I had noted that tendency among my fellow humans. Not only is it evident in the proliferation of variations of “Strictly Come Dancing“, but judging by frequently shown commercials, vast numbers of humans throw themselves into unusually energetic dance routines when they encounter the low interest rate offered by various banks, newly remodeled kitchens, good cell phone rates, and at least one other thing. The last commercial sticks in my mind because it involves an ordinary human movements like reaching for a high shelf  being appropriated by every human in sight and then developed into a full-fledged mass dance routine. I have no idea what they’re selling. Perhaps dance lessons?

The bees on cocaine also apparently “feel compelled to talk to their nestmates”. Well, don’t we all. I, personally, would feel compelled to find another nestmate should my present nestmate cease talking to me. I think he would feel the same. Luckily, he informs me that  this is unlikely to happen.

The bees even go “cold turkey” when the drugs run out. Hmm. I ask you, what choice does a bee on cocaine have? Have you ever known a cocaine dealer  who accepted honey in payment?

And the bees going cold turkey, having mastered the task of distinguishing between two smells, utterly failed when operating cold turkey. So should you find yourself in the situtation of going cold turkey today (which many human will, the reheated turkey having run out), it might not be a good idea to rush right out and redeem the perfume counter voucher you got from Uncle Ted.

So there you have today’s science lesson. Hope it raised your spirits. It did mine.


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