Djcnor’s Weblog

A Valentine Message for My Sweetheart

Posted on: February 13, 2009

Ten years ago now, when finding a love match on the web was a very new thing, I posted a profile for myself on one of these sites. At the same time, I looked at profiles other people had posted on that and other sites.

I saw a posting I liked. Neither of us had included pictures. I’m not even sure that was possible at that time. What I liked about the post was its frankness. The poster had a list of  “If you …. don’t bother answering” type things included in his post. The things he listed would pretty much have been my list, had I had the nerve to post a list like that. So I did answer.

I don’t remember what my posting said. It had received a few answers, and I’d had a few meetings with guys who answered, each and every one of which I didn’t want to see again.

There was another answer. He wasn’t exactly hesitant to meet, but he wasn’t anxious to either. He seemed to want to just exchange messages for a while before we decided to meet. I was perfectly happy to go along with this because I was doing the same with the guy whose posting had been so frank.

Both conversations continued, but something strange was going on. I kept getting them confused with one another. I began to print out our exchanges to have as references the next time I wrote to each one. Over time, I began to see why I was confused. These two guys seemed to have a lot in common.

Well, of course you’ve guessed it. My sweetheart had answered my post on one site, and I had answered his on the other. We were holding two continuing conversations with the same person, as we eventually figured out. And of course, as soon as we did figure that out, we decided to meet.

We’ve now had 10 years together and wish we’d met much earlier. We’ve been through a variety of types of hard times in those 10 years and, with me unemployed, we’re now contending with another set-back. On the other hand, in that time, he’s seen me through a joyous transition to a new career (managed by going back to school for a nine-month program that began 10 days before 9/11. The school was 30 blocks north of the towers). I’ve seen him through the (temporary, we hope) loss of a career (which came along with our having the experience of living in England for 5 years). The best part of those 10 years has been how well we get along and how we balance and aid each other in our viewpoints and our strengths and weaknesses. We make a wonderful team, which is amazing because I’ve never been that good at being a team player.

So, you who know who you are, happy valentines day. I love you.


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Djcnor’s Weblog

  • @KathrynGoldman Saw your blog post on famous people in fiction. Have character who is supposed to be dead, turns out not to be. OK? 1 year ago
  • I'm back! I haven't posted in a long time, but since Joanie Freeman and I won Charlottesville SOUP, I feel the need to return. 5 years ago
  • Haven't been here on my new iPad. Page looks totally different. Where is the option to reply? And where are the RT's? 6 years ago
  • @The_Puck Same to you. You denial is damaging to yourself and all you care about, assuming there must be some of those. 6 years ago
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