Djcnor’s Weblog

I HATE Insipidness, Vapidness, Blandness, Wishi-washiness, etc., etc., etc.

Posted on: April 3, 2009

This is a rant! It is not ONLY a rant! it’s a full blown one, continuous in the back of my mind whatever I’m doing, and I’m sick of it being there, sick of hiding it to fit in. It’s born of four years of  trying like crazy to make a life here, trying to locate a few people with passion for what they do, whether they do it for pay or otherwise. It’s born of living in a whole county, or so it seems, of settlers, folks who settle for jobs that sound boring and are boring from the very start. Folks who don’t MIND that! Folks who think that it’s silly and useless to care about bigger things. No, I take that back, they care, but they care in the same measured deliberate way that care for anything else, half-heartedly, enough to carry a bag with a slogan on it, or to walk for a charity, or some other activity of minimal inconvenience and minimal benefit. 

I mind! I think everybody minds when they’re in their teens, before someone convinced them to take that first job that’s just to pay the rent. And I guess I believe that most who start out minding having settled for less than they really wanted end up satisfied enough to tell themselves that it has all come out for the best. Maybe I even believe they’re right when it comes to them.

So what happened to me? Was it being in graduate school? Spending my time among folks who had that passion for their work and sensing that I didn’t have it? That I had the willingness to learn and reason and do everything that needed done, but that I didn’t care as much as they did, not enough to spend enormous amounts of hours in the lab so as to get those results before anyone else did.

Was it finding my passion, all those lovely textile skills that I love developing and sharing only to find that the whoe textile system had been simplified and shipped out and there was little appreciation left of something done exquisitly? Was it that it took so long to find a way to make that my life, and then, even in that, finding myself in a job in which I didn’t get to express all that passion, all that creative urge?

Was it daring to ask for a good balance of life at the same time?

All I know is I’m 58 and still full to the brim with life and passion and an unwillingness to settle, and it’s driving me into poverty and I don’t know what to do about it, because I cannot help caring as much as I do.

Do I just have to throw up my hands and go for it, just set myself to live however I have to in order to do it? Is there anyone else out there like me? Well, is there?

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4 Responses to "I HATE Insipidness, Vapidness, Blandness, Wishi-washiness, etc., etc., etc."

I follow. good news is Im a young guy and I see it every day. emptiness is common. anyone with a brain can see it.

Hi, thanks for your comment. You’d think anyone with a brain would see it, wouldn’t you? But for folks who have settled for less, perhaps its a matter of survival not to see it. After all, if they did, they’d have to make a change which might risk some of the things they have gained in giving in. Take it from someone older. You’ll live a much more interesting life if you don’t. By the way, since I wrote this post, I have finally found a group of the kinds of people I was looking for in my town. There is hope.

Hi Donna,

Just finished speaking with you and arranging to meet up – I am very excited! Then I was cruising through your blog and read this – the “I hate insipidness” etc. and just laughed out loud! I always seem to be in trouble because I am too excitable and passionate about things – I love and hate in equal measure but it can be quite exhausting and doesn’t seem to fit in with being British and the stiff upper lip thing!! I always put my ‘not fitting in’ down to being half Dutch, of which I am inordinately proud, of course! Anyway, enough wittering. I am very much looking forward to meeting you and now need to decide which few bits and pieces to bring to give you a taste of my work so far….
Kindest Regards,
Michèle

It’s good to know there are other folks out there like me. Heck, I’d practically stopped posting on this blog. Can;t do it all. Eventually, I’ll resurrect the fashion blog to be rather like the decor blog. This one is for being political and incorrect and letting out whatever I’m feeling that just HAS to be written down or I’ll bust. There’s a lot less of that kind of feeling now that I’ve set myself to do my textiles or bust.

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Djcnor’s Weblog

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